Your tits are I can't wait for
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
