She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
