I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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