As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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