New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
