I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
