What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
