I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
