I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
