There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
