does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
