yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
