Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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