I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
