When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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