there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
