Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
