How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
