not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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