I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
