sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
