Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
