is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
its liver damage thursday
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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