Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
