I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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