I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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