Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
