Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
