You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
