this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
