You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
