so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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