is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
