ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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