If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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