i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
