You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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