there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he puts the penis in happiness.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
