just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
