They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
