Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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