So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
