I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
