He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i think i just lost a toe
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
