She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
