Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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