Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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