this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
MIDGETS
????
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
