why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
