i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the day after is always just damage control
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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